Are you thinking about marrying your special someone, but need to know what important questions to ask you partner before you get engaged? Asking these 7 will give you the answers you need in order to make a wise decision.
One of the most challenging parts of the courting process is knowing what questions to ask your partner in order to figure out if you should or shouldn’t get engaged. There is just SO MUCH you want and need to know about them!
Are you feeling stressed and trying to determine if this person is who you want to spend your whole life with? Having gotten married last year, that feeling is very fresh! I also have been able to determine what questions I needed to know the answers to as I went through the decision making process.
After going through this list, you are going to feel much better knowing what questions you need to ask your partner. As you ask, you’ll understand the importance of your partner’s answers too. You’ll learn intimate questions to ask your partner, fun questions to ask your partner, deep questions to ask your partner, and more!
While trying to figure our if your partner is a person you want to marry can be challenging and stressful, knowing what questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend can help A TON. Be sure to answer the questions for yourself as well so that they can learn more about you too!
This post is all about the MOST important questions to ask your partner as you decide whether you want to get engaged.
Important Questions to Ask Your Partner
Here is your list! Before asking your partner these questions, answer them for yourself. If I could do it all over, I’d journal and record my own answers.
This will allow you to know whether or not you are on the same page. You also can avoid being swayed by their answers.
1. What is the hardest thing you’ve been through?
hmm, wow. THIS will be a super insightful answer you’re going to want to know. Why? LOTS of reasons.
As you pay attention to how vulnerable they are being, you’ll get a good idea of how open they are comfortable being with you. If your partner is willing to be vulnerable with you, that’s a VERY good sign. ONLY if their story is true (of course).
Knowing what the toughest thing they’ve been through will also give you an idea of their tolerance level. Have they actually had real challenges..? How do they deal with hard times? What is their attitude towards challenges?
Most of all, this will help you see them through a new lens. Sharing can increase empathy!
Brené Brown has a great way to explain how important empathy is in relationships.
2. Do you want to have children?
This can be a tricky one! But you’re going to want to know the answer before getting engaged.
A lot of arguing can be avoided, and even heartache should you be on opposite sides of the fence on this one.
3. What was your childhood like?
Our childhood can shape us. Do they have things they loved and other things they hated?
The past often shapes the present. How you view the world, your attitudes and opinions. How you face adversity and how hard you work.
If your partner had toxicity from their family growing up, they may repeat similar tendencies in their future family. This is not guaranteed, but it’s better go into the decision with your eyes wide open.
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4. What are your goals and dreams for the future?
Does your partner’s vision for their future align well with yours? Do they even look forward to the future with hopes and plans?
Having positive dreams and goals is a great sign, and you’ll want to know if their future looks good to you too. After all, you’ll be sharing that future.
This is another question that you’ll want to answer for yourself before asking. This will help you to really digest any differences rather than ignoring them.
5. What is your financial situation?
We’ve all heard that nightmarish story about someone marrying someone who had tens of thousands in debt, but they didn’t find out until the day after their wedding.
Every time I hear that story I just ask…. HOW? also… WHY?!
This is a super important thing to know about your partner! Financial health impacts every part of our lives, much like physical health.
Are you comfortable with where they are financially, and how that will impact you? Think about your own financial situation too, and figure out how those may interact.
Ask them how they feel about combining financial accounts. Is this something that you are both expecting?
These are very important questions to get out there, TRUST me!
6. What should we do when we argue?
If you think you will never argue, sorry.. you’re wrong. I wish you weren’t though! How nice would that be?!
Knowing that you will argue about random stuff that you can’t really anticipate right now, one thing you can discuss in advance is what you can do anytime you argue.
Maybe it’s that you don’t want to go to bed angry at each other. Perhaps you will take 10 minutes apart from each other before coming together to finish the conversation.
I wish I’d asked this to my boyfriend (now husband) before we got engaged. It would have helped to get on the same page BEFORE the issues started to come up… it took us a while to figure out what to do when we argued.
7. How do you feel about chores?
Mkay, this may sound like a little thing. You’re saying, ok Brynn sure, I’m going to just skip over this one. DON’T!!
Everyone feels differently about chores, and everyone feels strongly about how they feel about chores. The inner child will come out, trust me. Stubbornness, tantrums, yes.
If you aren’t on the same page, see if you can come to a place of agreement. If you can’t, you NEED to know that before getting engaged or you’ll be frustrated pretty dang often.
Are they messy, or OCD clean? Trust me, find out, have the conversation. This is a huge source of contention in a lot of relationships. Save yours from having to endure that.