The average length of an engagement timeline is about 15 months, as gathered from other blogs and articles. In saying that, I totally understand that this data source is not completely accurate, but the number is consistent!
To clarify, this post is not about how to plan a wedding, rather to gauge how long each thing occurs while being engaged.
Proposal
I don’t mean to insult your intelligence by including this in here, I promise! The proposal is a very important step that kicks off the engagement timeline. Even though this is technically when the timeline begins, there are a few things to consider leading up to this event.
You’re thinking what the heck Brynn? No, I know. Before you get engaged you are going to want to think about this whole timeline. This is the pre-engaged stage. Think about significant life events that may occur in the next few years for you and your significant other.
While I’m a huge proponent of just doing things, there are good conversations and planning to do prior to the proposal. When do you want to get married? How long do you want to be engaged?
If you are wanting a June wedding and you don’t want a long engagement, you may want to wait until you are a year out to get engaged! Just think about it, drop some hints or have a chat with your partner, and then be happy with how everything works out!
Now that that’s out of the way, the actual proposal! Congratulations, you are now officially engaged! As stated above, this typically occurs between 13-18 months before your wedding date.
This marks the beginning of your engagement journey. You now have that ring on, you’re getting excited, everything is peachy! Enjoy this stage, revel in it! It goes way too fast.
Engagement party
The next big event in the engagement timeline is your engagement party. I have seen these done in so many different ways. Even having a surprise engagement party the same night as getting engaged!
I have written an entire article detailing how to decide when to have an engagement party, but I’ll include a few highlights here. The shorter your overall timeline for being engaged, the sooner you will want to have your engagement party. Pretty simple. An average wedding with over a year to plan will typically have the engagement party about 2-3 months after getting engaged. But you do you!
Use this event to celebrate and enjoy the experience of getting engaged, becoming a new couple who is preparing to commit themselves to each other. Introduce your fiance to your friends and family. What a great environment to do this, especially since there will be way less pressure on this event!
Begin wedding planning
Once you have had some time in the sun with your new fiance, it’s time to get to work. Planning a wedding is no joke, and you will need time to get prepared for your big day.
This part of the timeline will extend until your wedding day. One way to alleviate some of the pressure of the planning though, is to hire a wedding planner or coordinator. Finding someone you trust can make all the difference.
During the wedding planning process you will for sure feel stressed, but this definitely is manageable. Sometimes stress can bring unnecessary conflict into relationships, not on purpose, but as an ugly side effect.
Knowing this in advance can help you to be more mindful of your relationship with your fiance. This is still part of your engagement! Take time to spend with your fiance without talking about weddings and plans. Help each other to relieve stress.
If conflict does arise, that’s ok, normal actually! The more important thing is how you resolve said conflict. This is a great time to practice and to see how you are as a couple when stressful times arise, as they DEFINITELY will continue to come throughout your life.
Moral of the story is have fun and plan the wedding of your dreams! Strengthen the bond between you and your fiance and get excited about your future life together.
Create wedding registry
You may be thinking that this is part of your wedding planning process, which is true, but I wanted to separate this out. Creating a wedding registry is an important part of your engagement journey.
Determine what it is that you and your fiance need and want for your life together. You will want to create your registry early on. Gifts are not typically given at engagement parties, so just following this event would be a good time to begin making a list.
You may think that this is crazy, but your list might run out before you get to your wedding. Making your registry early on will give you time to add anything as needed later on.
If you don’t want to have a registry, that is totally fine, just be sure to let your guests know.
Have bridal shower
It might seem like this is skipping over a ton, which may be true depending on the person. The reason I put having a bridal shower next is because most other events that occur during the engagement timeline are related to the wedding planning process.
Bridal showers are very much part of tradition surrounding weddings. This is typically hosted and thrown by the bride’s family and friends, and any of the groom’s family and friends who would like to be involved.
Typically the bridal shower is held between 3 weeks to 3 months before the wedding. By this point, big wedding planning decisions should be made and the stress levels lowered. This is a great time to celebrate the bride and give gifts that she can use in her new home. She will be in a great headspace to enjoy!
Bachelorette and bachelor parties
These are important events, and even though you might think you don’t need one, just do it! Bachelor and bachelorette parties are usually held between 1 week to 2 months before the wedding.
You have so much flexibility with these parties that you can have them anytime you want, even the night before. I have even heard of someone having her bachelorette after her wedding because she wasn’t able to make it happen during her wedding planning.
Your best girl and guy friends should be the ones who throw this party for you. You can definitely communicate what you are and aren’t comfortable with, and even some of the things you hope to do. But having an element of surprise makes things more exciting.
Wedding day
Your day has arrived!! All the planning you have done is coming to life. Your engagement stage is over now, but the fun is just beginning! Take time to reminisce, even journal about some of your favorite parts of your engagement.
Your wedding day is the day that you commit yourselves to each other, but let’s be honest, the entire time you have been engaged you have practiced and anticipated that commitment. Something to keep in mind, the engagement phase is quite stressful, usually life settles down a bit after the wedding. Your mindset during your engagement isn’t permanent.
The engagement phase is a beautiful part of your journey together and I don’t think it gets enough credit. Your engagement is an important time to get to know each other on a deeper level. Tensions may be high, but this gives you opportunities to practice love and patience.
Each phase will look different for each couple. Time frames will differ as well as individual priorities. Make it your own, and have fun with it. Most of all, take time to enjoy the journey of being engaged!!
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